Then things happened, life happened. The world suddenly became bigger and the more I learned, the more I found out there are so many things I still have to learn. Starting a family is still the ultimate dream. But suddenly, I started having dreams of my own, goals to meet and plans to pursue. I wanted to enjoy the first years of marriage with my husband being at our most hedonistic selves. I didn’t really have a long checklist before starting my baby popping-out years. I only want to be sure we can provide well for our family and somehow also as equally important, I knew that I have to have already made something for myself.
In retrospect, there were many times in the past that I had second-guessed myself thinking if I was making the right choice of waiting. Paolo and I were so determined to wait out the first two years of marriage before starting a family. It didn’t help with so many people asking or more like nudging me to have a baby soon, sometimes I even get the occasional tsktsk and pitying eyes as if it were a race and I’m so sadly lagging, far behind the finish line. There were many times too I wanted to retort and say, mind your own business but knowing they only meant well made me hold my tongue, thankfully.
I have nothing but respect for young mothers or women who got pregnant unexpectedly but were able to make things work. As I always say, it takes all kinds to make a world and whatever floats your boat. It wasn’t an easy road for me too, there were times that fear and doubt crept in at the darkest hours. After waiting for two years, I thought when it was time to finally start making a baby it will be easier… but I was proven wrong.
There were many moments with nothing but heartaches and whispered prayers each time we will wait if we had been successful.
It’s the sweetest when things you wish for the most, come when least expected.
There were many times especially when I was younger that I was too impatient to get things going along fast. It is when you get older; you realize you have to enjoy the whole process. If there’s one thing I can tell my single friends or those second-guessing themselves if they should wait or not: dance to your own rhythm. Life is not a race.
Trust in His time, always.
This blog, for the last two years had shown my evolution from a single woman to a bridezilla to a young wife and a budding entrepreneur. I’m excited with this next chapter: that of being a mother.
I only had a short to-do list before becoming a mom: 1. Get married in a traditional way. 2. Earn my first million in one bulk, on my own and neither through inheritance nor marriage. 3. Make something out of whatever field I am in that I would remember for the rest of my life. 4. Give back and continue the blessings and of course, 5. Make my husband learn how to help out around the house.
I can say that now, I can start making a new list. Here’s to new adventures ahead. =)
