I just realized that my blog is sending off some somber
vibes these days. I have to do something about that. Lately, when I feel the
need the blog are those times I’m not at all feeling high.
Today is a Saturday and our first weekend alone as a family
after more than three months. My dad just left two days ago and I’m feeling the
blues again. I’m blogging from their old master bedroom that I claimed for
myself as my big walk-in closet/ woman cave. I love coming here and just being
alone but today it felt emptier than any other time in the last six years since
they moved away.
I guess one good thing about being the only one so far away
from my family, every time I’m with any of them is savored.
Each moment is carefully curated in my mind to look back on
days I’m feeling alone and missing them.
Every activity, however mundane it may be is etched in
memory even though at the back of my head I always wonder about when will the
next time be.
I realized the most ordinary things we do, the most everyday
routines are the ones we remember the most --- and miss the most.
Every little moment is a little bit more special.
Today, I’m missing some people in Chicago a wee bit more
than the usual, this morning the ache is more gnawing.
Today, I will cuddle with my husband and son, hug them a
little bit more and remind myself that I’m not alone and as long as I have
family, both the one I came from and the one I’m creating--- I’ll never be
alone.
