Letter to My Firstborn

Enjoying his last days as an only child.

Dear Hunter,

I felt the need to write you a letter to let you know how much I love you. I know I tell you that everyday but I am compelled to remind you now even more since our lives will change, most especially yours in a few days time.

Soon you won’t be the only child—Maybe a fact that you won’t even remember since you are only four years old – but I would and as a mother I am hardwired never to forget.

Firstborns are always special. There are two births with a firstborn—that of a child and that of a mother. I like to think we took this journey together.

I gave birth to you but in turn YOU gave me the role that I cherish the most in life---a Mother.

Everything was new with you. We are growing together, and now that I will have another child in my arms, know that love doesn’t run out--- the heart only gets bigger.

I am excited to see you as a Kuya because as early as now, I see how caring and loving you are to other babies.  Even though at times, you can get a little testy with your Manu-spot, you are always loving and protective.  =)

People tell me how kind, laidback and good you are that you took so much after your Papa. At times I would half-jokingly say, it is really because of me; because I like to think I guide and teach you well as a parent. But I realize as I get to know you even more, IT’S ALL YOU, and it is your nature. 

I pray that you grow up and we will be able to develop these traits even more to help you in life.

You are patient, laidback, gentle and introspective. They say firstborn sons are strong and proud --- natural leaders.
But I see you more as a Rouge wolf, neither a leader nor a follower.

You march at your own beat, always surprising and overwhelming us especially at times we are not expecting more than what you can deliver.

Late and barely 2 weeks in school, you were able to memorize a song and dance sequence to be included in the school program.

Much to my delight, this was one of my biggest discoveries I had with you--- that you love Music with such passion I don’t normally see with kids your age. You learn songs so easily and sing without qualms. I pray that we always discover these little hidden gems in your personality so we can always support the person you are meant to be—and not the one we wished you to be.

You are so much like your Papa and that although I begrudgingly admit, is something I really, really love.

You have his quiet perseverance, his sincere gentleness that draws people in, your being able to be with friends as easily as being on your own for hours on end, your being expressive not with words but with gestures, cuddles and hugs—Oh how I live for those.

And now I will be getting even more of those with your brother.  My arms will be full, at times I won’t be able to hold you as much as before. But what you will be “losing” from mama’s time, you will be gaining so much more with a lifelong friend and ally.

Having siblings is one of the best things in life, believe me.  Having my sisters and brother gives me one of the biggest securities in life.  I wish, hope and pray you will have the same relationship.

You will never be alone, you will always have someone to stand by your side, to learn about life—most especially about those things, we as parents won’t be able to teach you--- things that can only be learned by experience. You will have someone to walk with you. In turn, be that brother to each other that one would wish to have.

I love you so much, Hunter, my son, my firstborn. I can’t wait for this new chapter in our lives. I may not have been the best with you, I was still learning as a new mom but you will always be the one I have loved first and will love the longest time.

Mama