Remembering Our Tatay Boy

Busy weekends give me life. A weekend not doing anything makes me feel like I've wasted time.

 Although movie nights and staying in are good from time to time, last weekend was not that time. It was very special for our family because it was my father-in-law's 10th birthday in heaven. When Tatay Boy passed away, Paolo and I were just a year into being boyfriend-girlfriend. We were only a few months into our relationship when his dad was diagnosed with the dreaded Cancer.

It was during those awkward first stages of the relationship where you don't really know how to act and place yourself in family events and occasions let alone hospital visits and intimate family conversations. Yes, we are family friends and I have known their family since I was little but we were operating then in a different position as boyfriend-girlfriend.
Ironically, this was the time I got to know his family in a deeper level. For all the mighty way Tatay Boy lived his life being the all-time most-loved Mayor of our small town, he never felt the need to hide his failing health and sensitive condition. He was a servant until his last days, accepting visitors and welcoming his supporters who made the long trip from Mindoro just to see him. In truth I was a bit baffled and frustrated in silence that they were risking Tatay Boy by exposure to infection but it was what he wanted. It is then I realized that he didn't just belong to them---but to the people of Roxas. It was during this time I saw Paolo so helpless and pained and I believe that made us stronger and our relationship more committed.  In the end I've never personally seen a more-loved person than Tatay Boy. He had a short one, but what a life!

Hunter glued to his papa as usual.

My smiley boys with Kuya Jijil. 

Hunter's favorite cousin for that day

I just wanted to share a little observation from someone who is considered a family but still an outsider looking in. Paolo's family is the most humble people I know. When I tell people that Pao's dad was a Mayor, they always reply with an "Oh-he-must-be-rich" retorts. It's a sad fact here in the Philippines but because of corruption in the government, officials become rich and are always scoffed off as corrupt which is farthest from the truth with my Father-in-law. He was lovingly known as "Mayor Tsinelas." He didn't have flashy cars and big houses. He didn't even have his own car. He contributed from his own pocket when the need arose. I've always been apathetic and apolitical about these issues but it was when I became part of the Yasons that I realized, yes you can serve the people and not be sucked into the dirty system. There are a few good men out there. Having known Tatay Boy on both a personal and political level makes me so angry with the dirty system yet hopeful and optimistic that there are still people like him.

No, Paolo did not come from a rich family---but a highly educated one. They don't count possessions and properties in their family but titles and diplomas. I guess this is one of the biggest things that drawn a sometimes-materialistic and business-driven person like me to him. Paolo and I always joke, Hunter will get the all-business side in me and the altruistic servant-leader in Paolo--- Please, not the other way around. =P

But for now, he's my little too-cool-for-you dude

I'm always in awe with people who have a different definition of success other than money and material things yet who are so passionate in life. In truth, I'm jealous of that trait of my husband and I pray that that is something he will never lose. Thanks, Tatay Boy. I am proud that my son will carry this legacy. I am proud that Hunter carries your name.

Reminded me that we start and end with family. For all the titles and roles he had when he was alive, 10 years later, it's husband and father that matter the most.