Remembering Our Tatay Boy

Busy weekends give me life. A weekend not doing anything makes me feel like I've wasted time.

 Although movie nights and staying in are good from time to time, last weekend was not that time. It was very special for our family because it was my father-in-law's 10th birthday in heaven. When Tatay Boy passed away, Paolo and I were just a year into being boyfriend-girlfriend. We were only a few months into our relationship when his dad was diagnosed with the dreaded Cancer.

It was during those awkward first stages of the relationship where you don't really know how to act and place yourself in family events and occasions let alone hospital visits and intimate family conversations. Yes, we are family friends and I have known their family since I was little but we were operating then in a different position as boyfriend-girlfriend.
Ironically, this was the time I got to know his family in a deeper level. For all the mighty way Tatay Boy lived his life being the all-time most-loved Mayor of our small town, he never felt the need to hide his failing health and sensitive condition. He was a servant until his last days, accepting visitors and welcoming his supporters who made the long trip from Mindoro just to see him. In truth I was a bit baffled and frustrated in silence that they were risking Tatay Boy by exposure to infection but it was what he wanted. It is then I realized that he didn't just belong to them---but to the people of Roxas. It was during this time I saw Paolo so helpless and pained and I believe that made us stronger and our relationship more committed.  In the end I've never personally seen a more-loved person than Tatay Boy. He had a short one, but what a life!

Hunter glued to his papa as usual.

My smiley boys with Kuya Jijil. 

Hunter's favorite cousin for that day

I just wanted to share a little observation from someone who is considered a family but still an outsider looking in. Paolo's family is the most humble people I know. When I tell people that Pao's dad was a Mayor, they always reply with an "Oh-he-must-be-rich" retorts. It's a sad fact here in the Philippines but because of corruption in the government, officials become rich and are always scoffed off as corrupt which is farthest from the truth with my Father-in-law. He was lovingly known as "Mayor Tsinelas." He didn't have flashy cars and big houses. He didn't even have his own car. He contributed from his own pocket when the need arose. I've always been apathetic and apolitical about these issues but it was when I became part of the Yasons that I realized, yes you can serve the people and not be sucked into the dirty system. There are a few good men out there. Having known Tatay Boy on both a personal and political level makes me so angry with the dirty system yet hopeful and optimistic that there are still people like him.

No, Paolo did not come from a rich family---but a highly educated one. They don't count possessions and properties in their family but titles and diplomas. I guess this is one of the biggest things that drawn a sometimes-materialistic and business-driven person like me to him. Paolo and I always joke, Hunter will get the all-business side in me and the altruistic servant-leader in Paolo--- Please, not the other way around. =P

But for now, he's my little too-cool-for-you dude

I'm always in awe with people who have a different definition of success other than money and material things yet who are so passionate in life. In truth, I'm jealous of that trait of my husband and I pray that that is something he will never lose. Thanks, Tatay Boy. I am proud that my son will carry this legacy. I am proud that Hunter carries your name.

Reminded me that we start and end with family. For all the titles and roles he had when he was alive, 10 years later, it's husband and father that matter the most.

Mama Musings

“That’s why I don’t do that.”

The one line that annoys the hell out of me. One of my biggest pet peeves is logging in any social network and seeing people sharing links about studies and the likes proving (in their minds) an opinion is a fact.  Posting links about latest studies of how the newest tech proves to fry your baby’s brain then peppering it with the clincher: “That’s why I don’t do this with my child.”

Every time I see this, I cringe then automatically think they are trying to convince themselves more than other people. How I talk to my son (in English), let him use tech gadgets and occasionally give him chicken nuggets and sugared juice (horrors!) are none of your business.

I spend quite some time researching about the latest line of lipsticks of my favorite brand. How much more about the merits of breastfeeding or giving organic food to my child? 

I breastfed Hunter until he was over a year old. I breastfed him exclusively until he was 8 months. As much as I am a breastfeeding advocate and encourage friends and family to breastfeed, I don’t find it necessary to post photos of my freshly expressed milk in anybody’s newsfeed for them to admire and behold with the caption Yes I am a Superwoman—I make milk.

Sometimes you question the purpose of people doing this---is it really for advocacy or a chance to wave a badge of honor about something that is supposed to be natural?
I do appreciate the purpose of it. You post photos to encourage other women: "if I can do this, you can too." But what about those who think otherwise? What about those who think, "if she can do it and I can't, what is wrong with me? I'm not giving my child the best."

There is a fine line between being informative and being pushy. Not all women who don’t breastfeed choose to. Sometimes it just doesn’t work out---and that is also natural. And no one should make any mother feel they are giving less to their child just because they took a different path.

Other people’s pride may be a source of encouragement for others but a little bit more than that and it goes beyond giving support or hope. Our standard becomes mandatory and when it is not met a sense of failure and superiority is established.

Unsolicited advice is a surprise gift that not everybody likes to receive. Instead of being holier-than-thou blasting off other people’s choices, just share what worked for you. Instead of using “That’s why I don’t do that with my child,” use “This is what’s working for me” advice.

It is ok to share ideas, opinions and your new discoveries but doing it to establish you are doing the right thing is just a bit off. No need to defend what you do by "sharing" studies that support your choices. It is a desperate way of showing you are doing a good job---while making other mommies feel they are not.  

Please leave the caption at “Studies show that Ipad radiation proves to fry your children’s brains and make them zombies by age 14.” Please for the love of pete, do not under any circumstances smugly add a totally unwarranted “That’s why I gave my child a yoyo instead of an Ipad.” Just no.

       Photo from celebbabylaundry.com

Mommy bullies are everywhere. For what it's worth, I think we all are at some point in our lives. It is a learning process, this motherhood thing. Sometimes I have to step back and breath in, breath out remind myself that albeit a bit too forceful they mean well. We all need assurance and encouragement and sometimes the lines are blurred when we are dishing out our truths. Maybe they are also reassuring themselves about their own choices.
 But truth of the matter is, there is no one formula. We can only take it one day at a time, learn, pray and try our best in each situation and hopefully our children turn out to be healthy, happy adults who are strong, open and who can think for themselves without imposing their beliefs on others.

Inspirations

The past few months, I've been in a creative rut.

Every month is spent meeting deadlines, orders and shop inventory. Unlike years before when I can spend days and days of making my own designs and experimenting with new techniques, most of my orders now are very particular. I have to meet a certain theme, or motif for giveaways and resellers. I keep doing more mainstream designs for a shop inside a mall. :/

I've been needing some inspiration and wanted to read a few books unrelated to what I do. After all, a clear mind is a hub for creativity.
I have a habit of buying books then not finishing them. Unlike back in college when I can devour three books in a week, I think the last time I finished a book was more than 6 months ago.
I didn't even know that I have books that are still sealed!

For now, I will be starting on some fun, short, not-so-serious reads...

I'm really enjoying the 30 Things! Love it!

Then off to these after. 

*****

I started this blog to update my whole family in the States how I'm doing here but since Instagram, Hunter and putting up shops and everything in between; I haven't been very good with updates and regular posting. I will do my best to be back on track. 

After all, these are the good old days I would like to look back on. 

Leaving Home, Going Home

So we are finally back in Manila after half a year of being with my family in the States. Hunter and I are still adjusting with the time and are usually awake early in the morning.

We arrived four days ago, just the two of us. Flying halfway around the world with a toddler was surprisingly easier than I expected. Hunter couldn't have been more behaved. No meltdowns and tantrums. He was the most behaved little person in the plane and his mama couldn't be more proud.

This was his "worse" behaviour during the flight---a few whimpers when his favorite Thomas video won't play. =)

Too much Ipad time is bad for little kids, but when at the airport--do what you gotta do! =D

Good thing that my little guy was at his best behaviour because I was barely holding myself up leaving my family again. I hate goodbyes. We are not good with them.

Holding my sister's hand while being driven to the airport

The last 6 months had been the best stay in Chicago I've had. Although I always say the same thing every time I go home to my family. It's just so reassuring to know theres a group of people in the world who always have my back. It's like one big requirement in life is ticked off the list, I can do anything.

 I was able to recharge, regroup and just basically map out what I need to do. Turning 30 was also cathartic for me. I'm motivated again and more importantly, optimistic. I can't wait to see how the next few days will unfold. So many exciting things ahead. 

See you again, Chicago. You are home.

Hello again, Manila. I missed you. I'm ready! Let's do this!

Hunter seeing his papa after half a year. ❤ We missed you

Charmed 30 years

Oh, goodness me! It's the last day of May. This month just flew by! A lot of things happened this month and as usual, I was bad at keeping my resolve to write again as much as I can.
Life happens and nothing reminds you more of that than turning 30!

My sisters couldn't agree on the birthday theme: Shabby chic from my sister Hazel and Sassy Pink Flamingo from my sister Vi. I guess they are both my personality. =) 

My 30th birthday was a relatively quiet one. It was just a simple get-together with our family.

Admittedly, it wasn't initially what I had in mind. I've been planning my 30th birthday for most of my 29th year (heh) and a vacation with my husband and son somewhere far and romantic was what was included in my dream sequence. I kept on moving my flight back in Manila that I just decided to spend my birthday with family in good, old Chicago.

But nothing beats being with family and 80% of all the people I love most and being reminded how loved I am for the last 30 years of my existence. I guess I just have to make it up with the one very big % left in Manila when I get back. ;P

Unlike some people who dreads the big 3-0, I actually looked forward to it. My twenties are nothing short of awesome and I was able to accomplish, experience and learn so many things that I guess will come by few and far between from now on since our twenties are always viewed as the time of experimentation and finding out who we really are.
I am more excited with the calm and stability my thirties will bring. I guess there's nothing that quite substantiate the feeling of coming to your own and having the quiet confidence and belief in yourself that naturally comes with time and age. 

I wouldn't say I had it easy, but I must admit I had it easier for the most part. I am well aware of that. I guess its the awareness that pushes me to do more, to want more because I am given these opportunities and blessings.
I remember when I was trying to come up with a business name, I was thinking of what we all strive to have. It is the Charmed Life. A charmed existence that is not just so much about the material things but aspects of life that make everything meaningful: family, happiness, love.

I don't have a perfect life but I do live a Charmed Life. In my own terms.  ❤

My family always finds an excuse to get together as often as we can. We have an average of two parties in a month, from simple holidays to big birthdays, we make sure we organize something to gather everyone and spend time with each other. That’s one of the biggest things that kept me busy the past few weeks.

 Case in point was last Sunday when we celebrated my mom’s big 60^th birthday party. I guess we threw her off in a loop for a bit since she didn’t expect it to be more than a simple lunch with friends and family. The look on my mom’s face was priceless when she saw all the surprise photos, cake and AVP. I love it!

Hunter and I looking a bit too happy.

I made my mom’s giveaways. These designs will be available in the shop by June.

Wednesday Wish List

Another Wednesday Wish List! I can't believe its been a week! Goodness, time is zooming by!

Leah, a very nice and sweet lady is behind the brand The Way We Are . She designs and creates her unique pieces.

I've always admired her jewelry and being an accessory designer like her who makes most of my pieces by hand, I do appreciate the passion that goes with being a creative entrepreneur.

I love her girly, sparkly pieces. So fun!

I'm excited to finally get my Pink Heartfelt necklace in two weeks. Although I'm a jewelry maker myself, I still get excited getting new jewelry and accessories! Thanks, Leah! 

My earliest birthday gift! 

Wednesday Wish list

I'm actually excited about turning 30 soon. I think I'm one of the few who actually look forward to that. I guess its because they always say the 30's are the more stable, quiet but still best years of a person's life.

I just realized I always stay here in the States with my family right before a big change in my life: Graduating, getting married, giving birth and now turning 30! It is a great opportunity I guess since I'm able to acquire the things I want and need to get me ready for a change in my life.

I'm in the process of purging old stuff and building a new and better collection that represents me well. A more streamlined, yet better representation of who I am.

My 20's was a great decade but I really never felt I had a distinct style. I was more concerned about accomplishing goals and chasing after dreams to really invest on my closet. Not that I didn't acquire a substantial collection, I did. But it is more of acquiring things for the sake of "investing" and not really a reflection of who I am and what I really like.

Wishlist Wednesday will be a new regular in my blog. Just a sort of style journal notes to know what I really like and who I really am style-wise.
I am no fashionista, I'm just a regular girl who loves pretty things. Bear with me.

Kate Spade Beau Bag

 I am starting to like, really like Kate Spade. I guess my biggest influence is my sister Hazel who loves the brand. 

I have a jewellery/Accessory business but I still can't stop pinning for other pieces and designs. I particularly love these two because they would look good layered with my Charmed Life bracelets.

I only shop for cosmetics whenever I'm here but boy, do I hoard! Probably because they are much cheaper than in Manila.

Coral blushes are my must-have. I can never get enough. I particularly love this shade from Chanel: Le Blush Creme de Chanel Presage 62.

And my ultimate in the wish list is this beauty:

Someday Mi cheri, someday. 

Monday Musings

Just Start.

This applies to anything in life. I’ve been slacking off, putting off doing things. Always thinking I deserve the break and there’s ample time. I was sadly reminded that that’s not the case.

My dog died today and it was the saddest I’ve been in a long while. I wasn’t expecting it would hit me as hard because although we’ve had pets before, I’ve never been this attached and invested to a dog before. My golden lab was the sweetest, most playful dog in the world and when Paolo called to tell me about the bad news, I just bawled for the whole morning. I realized I was crying also because I took for granted the time he was with me, thinking we had more.

So now, I am reminded of something I’ve always known, have always worked for me and yet I keep on forgetting: Just Start.

Start writing again, start on my projects I’ve put off, start on Hunter’s lessons, start on my workout regimen, JUST START and keep moving forward.

I’ll miss you Bullet. Thanks for all the happy times.