This is it, pansit

Anticipation is always the best part.
Until you come home to my arms, I will be patiently waiting (continuously tracking developement in the USPS site).

After months of salivating, pondering, saving and coveting. I finally took the plunge. This is yet my most precious piece, not so much with the price but the fact that I couldn't find one locally...for months. I don't know but in the past few months,I suddenly acquired a taste for discontinued pieces. Thus, the Vintage Jumbo Coco and the Vernis Reade. Nothing can do it for me than the Topaz Blue.
And as much as I would like to believe dubious dealers here, I know in my heart, there is NO such thing as a 12k pesos stam bag. Please don't be fooled. I've seen those things vs. a real one. I don't know why some girls are fooled. So I took the risk of ordering overseas amidst customs and exorbitant shipping fees. Now, I am in bag purgatory...hoping for the best.

My Topaz Blue is coming home. I hope they don't give my baby such a hard time in customs.

Today, It has been a year already...

I’ve always been scared about losing a loved one, somebody really close to me. Not just a relative, but somebody I choose to love, not because I have to.
When Tatay passed away last year, I was his only grandchild who saw him lying lifeless in his bed and I felt such a blow in my heart that I will never forget, it was only moments after he left.
I remember touching his hand, knowing it will be the last time.
I remember kissing his forehead, knowing I will never smell his scent again.
I saw people crying when they lose someone and although I’m emotional and expressive, I never thought I would react that way.
I remember hearing myself groaning so loudly, it sounded so elemental. It just went out from me.

Death is so much like losing one’s innocence. It’s irreversible that once you know about it, you cannot go back to what you've known before. You will always know about that helpless longing for someone you will only be with through memories. Death changes you, forever.

I miss TATAY very much.

In honor of my grandpa, I'm posting my all-time favorite entries here and here.

I love you, Tatay. Always and Forever.

Someday,mi cheri...

I am still smitten.
My sister Tiff is trying to convince me to get a Balenciaga the next time. But as much as I love the bb, I am more of a lady than a motorcycle girl. My Marc Jacobs Stam bag awaits. Someday...someday.

I love romantic, granny stuff.

New...

I just made a new batch of luxe statement earrings. Please check them out in my online shop. =*

I’ve been neglecting this blog for a little while now.

...As well, as my housewife-y duties.

That I realized while ordering again for the nth weeknight in a row. I don’t really have an excuse. I have a wonderful assistant. I can’t complain like my sisters do since I have my lovely Lovely (yes, that’s her name) that helps me with the house. But still, I find myself every start of the week with an exact copy of the to-do list last week, freshly written for the new week ahead.

During the first months of our marriage, I was lucky enough to have our “Yaya” Lulu with us. While we were wrapped up in our newly-wedded bubble of bliss, She did everything, from screening unwanted visitors, deciding for herself when I can be “available,” preparing meals and menu for the week, keeping tabs on the bills and most specially, talking and dealing with my suppliers. I basically just gave her the budget for every week. She was very dependable and I appreciate that because she was exactly what we needed during our first few months of newly-wedded googliness and adjustments. When she left some months ago to start her own sari-sari store, I decided I will be hiring somebody younger since I really wanted to be this domesticated diva I’ve always imagined myself to be. This time, I'll be in-charge. I wanted to get someone to assist me, basically someone who will be my sort of P.A. since there aren’t a lot of things to do around the house anyway and it’s only just ze hubby and me.

Now, I am slowly realizing adjustments in a marriage, most specially the shifting of roles don’t only happen in the first few months, or even the first year. Although I do procrastinate at times, I am a perfectionist. I love doing everything thoroughly. This aspect of my personality reminded me so much more that I am not quite the “homemaker” I’ve imagined myself to be, a role I thought I could fit into quite easily. I have this scenario in my head, a perfect scene of me all-glammed up in the evening, holding a wine of glass (even if I don’t regularly drink wine) waiting for ze hubby to come home to our equally glammed-up house. In reality, we are more of a modern couple, we do our own things during the day and have a nice dinner together somewhere to cap off a tiring day.

*Sigh. But still, the little Susie Homemaker in me is antsy to start cooking things up.

Tomorrow, I will cook. I promise.

Inspired.

Last night I was having this nice dinner with my husband in some Indian restaurant when I got a text message from one of my clients. I think my husband wondered for a while if my eyes watered over the spicy Korma. I do get appreciative messages every now and then which I go back often to when I’m overwhelmed and tired with work.

But this was more special. I cried after reading the message. It touched the innermost place in my heart.

My client M., approached me last April for a special project for her angel son. She wanted me to make rosary bracelets that would honor the memory of their son who just recently passed away last February. To be really honest, I was quite hesitant accepting the project since I knew it would be very difficult; they have shopped around and actually fired their first beader. Nothing would be good enough for their baby. Still, I accepted the project with openness. I realized it was an honor for me to be trusted with something this big and special.

Now, I take pride knowing I don’t only sell and design accessories but I am actually a crystal enthusiast. I make every piece personal and what makes it more special is the fact that it represents a certain meaning. Although I was a bit reluctant because I guess its natural, we second-guess ourselves every now and then; I took in this endeavor confident that I do this not only for the money…but because I love what I’m doing.

But sometimes, I do get tired. When the pressure is high, I get really stubborn and wonder; why am I doing this? It’s supposed to be a hobby. I don’t have to do this and I can get around without taking in too much.

And this project actually proved to be really hard. There were a lot of emotions involved, demands and deadlines to meet. There was for a moment, I felt I needed to back out…but I knew I wouldn’t be able to find peace with that choice. I honestly felt trapped with the project but I felt the need to just go on and do what I have to do.

I decided after that I’ll concentrate on this project no matter what and just go on with a smile. I’ll make sure every piece is wonderful and good enough for that little angel.

Then last night I got the most wonderful validation of what I do… “They are so beautiful, Thank you. It is obvious that you really took extra effort to make each one flawless. It is indeed special. We are so proud to have our son’s name and memory presenting each rosary…”

I cried not just because of the message…but because I know how much this means to them. I sort of felt we were really meant to find each other. God made a way, so they can find an avenue for healing…and for me to appreciate more of this gift. I was also reminded that no matter where you are and what you do in life, do your best. How you do things is based on who you are. The quality of one's work shouldn't be based on external factors.

I so love what I do, thank you little angel for reminding me.

I always say I feel as if I missed a chunk in my life as a grown-up. There is no transition whatsoever in my life from a student living with my parents and being a teenager at 24…to getting married and being a wife. I grew up in a fairly conservative family who imposed curfew on us up until we graduated from College.

I only felt my being a grown-up when one night I was asking my papa about some wedding details, and he told me, “it’s time for you to decide on that; on your own…or ask Paolo.” It was a very, very simple statement yet I felt more grown-up that moment than graduating twice from College. It was bittersweet for me. I felt sad but at the same time appreciative of the power that I have now. I guess it's very Pinoy but we were that typical, conservative Pinoy family. I realized I wouldn’t be able to value responsibility and deciding for myself now if my papa and my mama were any other way.

For all the years my papa would not allow me to go out later than most of my friends, for all the years I have this unspoken yet overwhelming awareness of his authority, I never felt suffocated…but safe.

I realize I want to learn that. I want to learn when to hold firmly without overwhelming somebody…and when to let go.

I remember when I was still a student, he wouldn’t allow us to go out all the time because of safety reasons but ironically would push us to learn how to commute, how to fend for ourselves, how to think on our feet and be our own heroes.

I have always believed my papa although had shielded us like the ladies that we are…he trained us like fearless “men."

We are married to fine men I must say, my sisters and I…we never settled nor compromised because we saw early on what a good man is.

You raised the bar, papa. I love you. I can’t wait to see you all! Happy birthday!

Our 7th year

It was our 7th year together as a couple and we decided to celebrate it in the Andanita Taj of Tagaytay. I’ve always wanted to try small, boutique hotels and this somewhat roped me in since I first read about it in Preview…I had high expectations. Let’s just say we’re definitely not coming back to that place. I was so annoyed at myself for not calling earlier for a reservation at The Boutique in Tagaytay instead, same price for the suite but a different experience altogether.

We stayed at the Maharashtra, supposedly their presidential suite but really it was nothing more than a bigger room with some naughty framed pictures beside the dining area. My first thought was: “Really?! What if there are kids staying in the room?” I was bothered to say the least.
Although I must say, the view from our room was spectacular. I loved our private viewing deck.



We had our dinner at The Boutique since I wanted to try their Hawaiian back ribs. YUMM-MMMY. They have huge servings and we weren’t able to finish both our meal.



Next day, I woke up early and I was more than ready to go. The breakfast was really just measly slices of bread with butter and cucumber which totally annoyed me so much since they were supposed to be a bed and breakfast. We were very hungry by 10 am and we seriously craved for good old Sonya’s Garden. I really love this place. I never get tired of their food and the ambiance each time. We plan to come back for an overnighter again before flying to Az.




So that’s our 7th year. Not really much compared to last year’s Mactan but hey, it’s the company that counts. ;)

I'm baaack...

So much to do, so much to do.
We are preparing for our trip on July thus the hustling and bustling of our lives.
I'm doing my inventory and finishing all the bulk orders before I leave that's why I wasn't able to log in for quite a while.

We are not only preparing for our trip...but also for the time after the trip. There will be a lot of changes in our lives when we get back and I want to prepare for all of those. But no, a baby is still not a part of our plans. When the time comes, I want the baby the front and center of our plans...not just a small part. But with all the changes and all the things to do this year, we still need to adjust to a more tolerable mess before we jump into another phase.

Back to regular programming. =)