I'm still reeling a bit from the change of weather. A day after I arrived and I got a serious case of sniffles. I'm not sure though if it is because of allergy or stress. Either way, I'm still recuperating.

Anyway, I'm officially missing everyone and everything in Downers Grove. Although I wouldn't say I'm not having a nice time now. I've been telling mama I realized I'm a lucky girl 'coz either way (Manila or Chicago), I have a good life. That's why one of my biggest peeves is hearing pinoys in the states talking sh*t about the Philippines. I always believe we should be the ambassadors of our own country. Pinoys are overall smart and can speak English moderately well, compared to ther asians so that's enough to make one stand and wave the flag proudly. I can't stand hearing typical pinoys, especially those who have been in the U.S. for just a while (with a ridiculous american twang, thrown in) talking about how dirty, etc. etc. etc our good old country is...and this to the other non-pinoys. Sometimes I want to whack them hard and let them know that when you speak ugly about the country you are from, it talks volumes about who and what you are.

I was in the airport and the guy mistakenly thought I was Spanish, not Mexican but Spanish ('coz of my name and height). Albeit being extremely flattered, I proudly said I am a Filipina but "Yo comprendo espanol un poco pero no hablo, hehehe." (and no, I didn't learn this from Dora). "I'm a Filipina," I rarely say that but I realized I say it with relish, if not pride.

I may be a bit disparaging with this pseudo-pinoys, after all I have a good life in Manila. My family didn't go to the US to escape poverty or unfortunate conditions so I may not understand. And although I absoultely abhor pinoy showbiz and pop culture, I appreciate well enough the legacy and history of our ways of life. I've been educated in U.P. as well, hence my stout patriotism. I've been taught to give back to the country that gives to me. For some of these pseudo-pinoys that may be the U.S. but I hope they also remember for the first few years if not decades of their lives, it was the Philippines. Just like any other country, there are ugly and dirty parts but I've been fortunate enough to know also about the beautiful parts. And I choose to remember those when someone asks me: where are you from?

Home in Manila

I'm Back!

Work Mode on! (wedding work, that is).

to my next flight

Its 3.26 pm, 6.20 am or 5.30 am, well, depends on your time zone. Since I’m in Korea for my transfer flight, I should say 6.20 am. The 13 hour flight was a breeze. It really helps to have a beautiful flight attendant for a sister; I got the best seat plus an extra seat so space wasn’t a problem. The American businessman wasn’t at all chatty which is a bonus especially travelling alone on long flights. I love to keep to myself and catch up on my trashy, romantic novels. I’m waiting for my boarding to Manila and I’m really hoping I don’t get to seat beside a very chatty mate. But since it is now a Philippine flight, more often than not I always end up on the seat beside elderly pinoys who love reminiscing and occasionally lambasting the good ole’ PI.
I love travelling alone, especially on long flights but not this one. I guess fate was considerate of my turmoils (having to hand-carry a POUNDER wedding dress and all). All I could think of during my 13 hour flight was Cheska’s big eyes and smiles, Yanca’s giggles and adorably chubby legs. I miss my sisters already it hurts.
I guess things will be better once I get to see the parentals, my imbentor mills and my man.

"I'm coming home." This time though with all the changes, home seems a bit vague.

6 hours more.

The past few months are undeniably the most life-changing for me and my family. I got engaged, Cheska arrived, my sister got married and a few months after has gotten pregnant, my other sister moved to another state. The next few months will be even more life-changing. I’ll be leaving life as I know it, I’ll be leaving my childhood home, I’ll be saying farewell (At least for now) to my mama and papa and my imbentor mills… I will be getting married.

It is bittersweet but I am glad I am experiencing this feeling. Not everyone gets to savor life’s intricacies. Amidst all the sadness I was feeling this morning because I will be away again from my sisters, I realized I prefer that life is this way, constantly growing, than be left alone as the world moves on. I am scared and a bit saddened about the changes but more excited than anything else and I wish nothing more than to always feel this way in all the stages of my life.
I must admit it is at times really scary. I guess indefinite and unfamiliar things can be quite unsettling but then changes are always like that. We are all evolving. Life is indeed a cycle. As I look for a new normal in my life I couldn’t help but wonder in awe as I see the last leaves fall in our front lawn: the next time that tree would be in its full glory again, I’ll be a Mrs. Yason.

POSTNOTE: Thanks to my sisters, my soulmates, my bestest friends for life. A SPECIAL SHOUT-OUT TO THE MOST SUPERB PERSON IN MY LIFE, MY ATE VI. I had the greatest time. I will miss you so much. Leaving hurts already but I know that having you guys every step makes everything easier. Having sisters is the best thing in the world. Our dreams are coming true and its 100 times sweeter because we get to share everything with each other.

I love you all so much.

THINGS I WILL MISS MOST ABOUT DOWNERS GROVE

Orange Chicken. Country Buffet. St. Mary of Gostyn nursery pews. York town and Yogen Fruz. Crashing at Kuya Dan’s and Ate Hon’s place. 24/7 net connection. Fridge raiding. Camping out at ate vi’s room. Endless supply of brain junkfood (johanna lindsey, anyone?) Kuya Dan’s famous spaghetti and baked ribs. Tita Tess’ everyday mystery meals (what’s for today?) Cold Case Files Marathon with Ate Vi. Making fun of my very cute, very preggy Tetel. Friday Night Gimiks. Serious laughtrips with my sisters over random take-outs. Saturday getaways. GoodMorning dances with Yanca. All night Cuddles with Cheska. My pink room with a tinkerbelle lamp (cheska’s actually.) Quiet mornings with either babies by the window on a rocking chair (so mommy-mommy.) Kuker and Ate Vi’s 50-inch plasma TV while hogging the best part of the sofa. Being wrapped burritto-style in the best polka-dotted down comforter in the world. Spur-of-the-moment joyrides with my sisters and their alipores (my bros-in-law.)
My Friday allowance. YAY! Snooty Oakbrook mall. Shopping (From Macy’s to Walmart!) CHICAGO, still the best city for me =) Online shopping and those delivery boxes on the frontdoor (feels like Christmas everytime.) Ate Vi’s uber guwapo Pilot SUV. Ate Honey’s closet (still is the best shopping place in the world. LV hand-me-downs, anyone?) Yanca's kisses and wrinkly-nose-smiles. Cheska's baby scent and beautiful doe eyes. Serious life discussions and laugh trips with Ate Vi.

HALF OF MY FAMILY...HALF OF MY HEART.

first wedding in the fam

I saw this from my old files. It was the first wedding in our family, my ate honey's 2005 wedding at Edsa Shangri-la. Makes me nostalgic. I'm going to look for ate vi's pictures and ate hazel's as well...

Our little, big girls!

Taken before Cheska's baptism. =) Surprisingly, she's more behaved now that she had been baptized. She's a happy baby who loves to smile and laugh a lot.

Nearing to the Next...

So must everything, even good things come to an end. In two weeks, I'll be leaving my life here in Downers Grove to go back to Manila. It is a bittersweet goodbye. I feel like I'm saying farewell to many people and many things: My sisters, my singlehood, Cheska's toothless grins and our song duets, Yanca's sleepy pink eyebags and kisses, my fave bed, my little quiet world, my fave, cozy nook in the sofa for dvd nights, my friday yays, panda express, egg harbour, yogen fruz...

It is unlike my other visits, I feel so sad leaving. I guess it is because I know that the last four months will never happen again. It will never be the same way. I feel like I have totally made my stay the best ever. I lived every moment and enjoyed everyday. I've been telling Ate Vi it wasn't as if I was visiting, it was as if I created a totally new life for myself.

Life is a series of goodbyes, but come to think of it...It is also a series of hellos. This adventure is coming to an end, but a new one is waiting, another one is about to begin... =)

Wait for me my little imbentor mills, I'm coming home.

New Baby on Isabel's Block

Love this in Tangerine.

BTB musings

I recently enrolled myself to the Weddings at Work group mail mainly to check out suppliers’ ratings and other brides’ ideas to get me really pumped up for the wedding. Since I’m very bipolar with things like these and able to accomplish lots of things during my pseudo hypomanic episodes, I thought I needed such reminders and thrusts now and then yet it made even more anxious. My yahoo is flooded with an average of 200 mails a day. Whew, I didn’t know there are a LOT of brides (and bridezillas?) in this time and age. I’m talking about brides with the whole wedding spectacle and hoohahs down pat.
Now don’t get me wrong, I think Weddings at Work is really a great well of bridal ideas:white wedding boots, anyone? I guess its just not working for me. Although it made me realize… sadly, weddings became a sort of comercialized displays of unmitigated, in-your-face brouhahas. If that is your style, well and good. But as Jane Austen puts it, “Dress is at all times a frivolous distinction, and excessive solicitude about it often destroys its own aim.” I truly believe same goes for these things. I guess since I’m the kind of girl who is an “all or nothing” sort, simplicity is not my virtue, I’m always conscious about the thin line between being fabulous and tacky. Surprisingly,after all that’s being said and done and the constant unwelcomed suggestions from my suppliers and designers (and other well-meaning relatives and friends), I just want something elegant, romantic and classic.
I found a wedding etiquette site and it says something that really sums up my sentiments. For the guests: “The Couple would like you to have a good time, but the event is not organized to indulge you. The couple and their families have honored you by inviting you to the wedding. Its all about them.” With four months to go before my big day, I’m trying to live by this and choose the elements I want to incorporate in our wedding with what I want and who we are as a couple. I’m always in fear of becoming a bridezilla, its then that I realized that I’m just coming at terms with my own partialities. After all, I will be a bride just once…=)

for change

History is being written...right this very moment.

The excitement is overwhelming, especially here in Illinois, hometown of Abraham Lincoln... Obama's hometown. I can't wait to witness what is going to be a highlight in history. I just feel lucky enough to be able to experience a great story, a highlight of our times.

Treat, definitely

Had a really great halloween last friday. I wore my red sequins devil horns the whole afternoon even when we picked up Kuya Dan from his workplace. We were actually planning to go as witch sisters or sexy nurses but since we bought the accessories the last minute, ate vi just opted for a froufrou crown and ate honey, I think was a bat or a very confused entity, I didn't really get what she was suppoused to be. I also went with my nieces trick or treating around the neighborhood and the best part is...we get to eat the candies since they are still too young for those anyway! Yum!